Estate planning is a family activity. Getting the entire family together can be difficult. People have their own lives involving work, school, family activities, and other time-consuming obligations. Family gatherings such as holiday parties and picnics can be the perfect setting for an estate planning discussion to take place. This article has several tips to make these meetings flow seamlessly.
Family gatherings hold a special place in many of our hearts. Reconnecting with family members we haven’t seen in years, reminiscing about joyous memories over the years, remembering those who’ve passed in recent years, introducing children to new cousins. These reunions often take place during the major holidays including Easter, the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Having these reunions can be very positive for families as it allows people to slow down and really take in what’s most important to them. Family gatherings also happen to be an excellent place to discuss estate planning.
Whether a family is two people or sixty people, making an estate plan can be an intense process and there are many possible constituents worth consulting, especially within an extended family. While some families are closer than others, it is uncommon for entire families to all congregate at once so it is important to take advantage of these opportunities as they arise. The items that should be discussed regarding your estate vary widely. Every family is different – different environments, different social dynamics, different levels of comforts sharing intimate knowledge. In most instances, there is no need to share dollar amounts and other critical personal information at these meetings, but an important thing you must weigh is whether or not to share certain information that may cause controversy. In some instances, information may be worth hiding, but it opens the door to accusations and conflict later than can majorly complicate estate planning. A good baseline is to share the information that’s necessary for everyone in the group to understand, without oversharing.
Tips for the Estate Planning Discussion
Going into a family meeting can be confusing at times. Different people bring different perspectives and the lines blur between what is beneficial and what is negative at times. It can also be quite awkward and in some cases, controversial, bringing up the topic of death. No one really likes to touch upon the topic of death and estate planning can be cast in a negative light because of it. By planning ahead, you can offer a degree of control that pushes the conversation towards a more positive position overall. The tips below will serve as a great starting point when coming up with a plan:
- Don’t call for a meeting before a holiday
If you decide to bring up the topic of estate planning during a holiday, try to bring it up after the actual holiday and any major festivities have occurred. These types of meetings typically bring some negative energy to the table, so having it take place after any major fun plans will keep from spoiling everything.
- Consider having your estate planning lawyer and accountant present at the meeting
If the meeting is taking place outside of a holiday break, having your estate planning lawyer and accountant present can make the entire conversation smoother. It also brings a note of legitimacy to the meeting and makes any information you present seem more concrete. If you can’t have your estate planning attorney at the meeting, work with them to create a plan so you don’t go into the meeting blindly.
- Hire a babysitter
During serious adult conversations, children should not be present unless absolutely necessary. They can cause major distractions and disruptions that most family members won’t particularly appreciate, especially the ones without children. Hiring a babysitter or even paying an older teenage family member to watch the younger children will make the meeting flow more smoothly and without distraction.
- Have a plan
Going into the meeting with a set plan will make the meeting much less confusing and easier to digest. The plan doesn’t necessarily need to go into great depth and touch upon every single topic you want to discuss. Creating an outline with basic topics and discussion points, while leaving wiggle room for discussion is ideal. Also, by creating an outline with clear points, you make it easier to move past any elaborate conversation or diverging arguments.
- Timing
Consider having an official start and stop time. Having a time frame prevents excessive tangents of conversation from arising and opens the door for people on a tight schedule to be present. Picking a time where most people are free is also recommended to allow for optimal information coverage.
- Encourage Discussion
Estate planning isn’t the most exciting of topics for most. Encouraging discussion, preferably of the positive variety, can make the conversation more stimulating. People want to feel involved and should feel welcome to express any opinions they might have. Getting family members on the same plan initially allows much less room for arguments and disputes later.
