Estate planning involves liquidity, whether it is physical cash or something that can be sold for cash like jewelry or real estate. Cash, as most of us learn as we get older, can cause those that desire it to do strange things. So one of the first things to consider when creating an estate plan is to recognize that if you don’t plan wisely, your plan is can lead to animosity, friction and even lawsuits amongst family members instead of being thankful for the fact that you have planned and are leaving them something behind. Based on this avoiding conflict after your death as best as possible should be a one of your prime goals as you sit down with your attorney to discuss estate planning.
To begin ask yourself if you proceed with your current vision for distribution of assets after your gone can you foresee it causing any sourness among your family members. If such potential for sourness does exist, try to envision what can be done to avoid it or minimize it today. One thing that you should remember when planning your estate, is that sourness doesn’t only arise over assets that are worth a lot of money. Some family members can have strong attachments to certain family heirlooms and may be angered and dissatisfied that they will not be the ones to receiving them.
In this blog we will explore some basic situations and potential considerations for avoiding any family conflict by providing you with two different scenarios:
First Scenario
John and Jennifer have two children in their early 30’s, Michael and Amanda, and a combined estate worth about $450,000. John also has a 39 year old son, Steven, from his first marriage, whom he barley sees since that day he married Jennifer. John wants to give Steven a gift of $75,000 in his living trust. Jennifer believes that this notion is preposterous and that John is simply trying to absolve himself of the guilt that he feels for neglecting Steven all these years. John is quick to defend his actions and tells Jennifer that the money is his and why can’t he do as he wishes with it. Jennifer points out that half of the money, is her money as the home they live in lists both of their names as owners on the deed. John agrees to the concept that half the money is her money but rebuttals with the concept that half of $450,000 is $225,000 and is considered his so why can’t he give Steven $75,000 if he wishes so. Soon after John realized that this divide in estate would mean he would be leaving behind only $150,000 to Jennifer and nothing to his other two children that happens to love and care for more than Steven most likely leaving them feeling hurt and resentful. John and Jennifer after some lengthy talks decided to seek guidance from an experienced estate planning attorney and after much consideration came up with a plan to leave Steven $50,000 and the rest to Jennifer assuming she survives him. Jennifer then would leave everything remaining at the time of her death in trust to Michael and Amanda. They then checked with Michael and Amanda who for their thoughts and Michael and Amanda both felt gift to Steven was fair.
Second Scenario
Larry is a widower with four children. Prior to speaking with an estate planning lawyer, Larry decided to sit down and evaluate for himself how he sees best to split up his estate. During this time Larry saw no problems when it comes to dividing up some of his more valuable assets among his four children equally. However when it came to distributing some of the relatively inexpensive family heirlooms he quickly realized that there might be some conflict as his children in the past have voiced their attachment to certain things. Larry decides that the children and he need to talk it out loud before he puts anything into writing. He gets all four children together over dinner, the conversation takes longer then he anticipated and not without any bursts of anger or dissatisfaction. However hours later everyone is in good spirits and in agreement. Larry secretly believes that the kids came up with a much more complicated plan then necessary but his happy to know they are all in agreement and won’t be feuding with one another after he is gone.
To sum it all up, money and physical possessions can make people act in mysterious ways often leading to heated disputes and fights. It is best when planning you estate to take into considerations potential scenarios that might leave your loved ones fight with one another. With this being said it isn’t always possible to satisfy everyone and you should always take into account your own feeling and wishes when it comes to your estate planning. For expert guidance and assistance creating an estate plan call our office and schedule your free estate planning consultation with one of our experienced estate planning lawyers.
